When I find myself in a conversation trying to draw upon any Jewish history, my first thoughts always take me to an old movie I saw as a little girl, the 1950’s epic saga, The Ten Commandments. I was probably six or seven at the time. I had been allowed to stay up past my bedtime to watch it while next door my parents rocked out to Barry Manilow. I credit the entirety of my musical style to having heard the somber, celebratory, and terribly confusing mashup of, “The Lord’s Prayer” and “Copa Cabana”.
Read More All I know about Chanukkah, I learned from Charleton Heston
You know you’re in for a good toilet experience when you sit on a device solely dedicated to making your bottom feel happy. With cleaning options like, “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”, I knew something special was about to occur.
Read More God Is Classy
Fresh flowers scream, “I’m classy!” My apartment needs all the help it can get to offset the Spiderman posters mounted to my wall with Silly Putty. Even though they smell like hot garbage, they’re pretty and goddammit, I need this.
Read More Looks Great, Smells Terrible
I guess there just aren’t that many things I crave these days. Perhaps I need to watch more commercials to be reminded of all the stuff I didn’t realize I needed so desperately.
Read More Gimme All Your Presents
Today I am grateful for my thumbs. When language escapes me, my thumbs are there to pick up the slack. I am grateful for disposable contacts that allow me to see every day. Without them, I’d be left wandering around with my thumbs in the air.
Read More more than a turkey
I keep thinking about all those who don’t have families or friends or plants to hang out with this time of year. What does their holiday photo experience look like? There’s that guy sitting alone on one side of a teeter-totter, despondent, possibly crying.
Read More A Lonely Person’s Guide To The Holidays